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Post by buck on Apr 25, 2015 23:36:49 GMT -5
Welcome to the official Disaster discussion thread.
This is a story that has been brewing in the corner's of my mind for awhile. It's a different kind of story then what you guys are use to from me. It puts the epic scope on the back burner and uses it to explore the effects of being a super villain on one man and his family. Paul Booker is a very fun character to write and I hope you guys find something about him that makes you want to cheer for him in his quest for redemption.
I apologize for any issues that I might've missed when editing. I had oral surgery yesterday and I am now on pain medication. I am really proud of this first issue and look forward to getting your guys opinions on it.
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Post by The MRP! on Apr 26, 2015 23:15:10 GMT -5
Buck,
I see the discussion thread, but for some reason I cannot see the board for Disaster itself. Not sure if it is there and a setting is wonky as to who can see it, or if the boards just isn't there yet.
-M
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Post by The MRP! on Apr 27, 2015 2:27:54 GMT -5
Ok now I see it!
-M
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Post by hawksmoor on May 1, 2015 14:03:37 GMT -5
Buck,
That was excellent! Honestly, I think that's the best issue I've read from you ever. You really nail the human side Paul, and his family. Lord as a parole officer type really works, and...yes, honestly, that was great. I can't wait for the next issue.
I guess, if I was being picky? I think the emotional outpouring from his wife might have needed a bit more time to develop and come out but...yeah, otherwise, amazing job.
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Post by The MRP! on May 5, 2015 18:13:20 GMT -5
Sorry it took me longer to get to this than I initially said....
Overall a strong and interesting start.
Let me get the nits picked first-there are some formatting issues-line breaks in the middle of sentences, spaces between paragraphs missing etc. but I think that's a proboard thing because it's been doing it to me on initial posts for a few months now, I have to go back and edit posts after I hit post to get the spacing and line breaks right because no matter what I do it messes them up in either preview mode of bbc code mode. There's also a few proofreading things-a your missing the r to make it you things like that.
The introduction of the characters was solid-we get a read on Lord, on Kelly etc. fairly quickly. Paul himself still is a bit of a cypher, but that's ok, after a year dead he may still be struggling to figure out who he is and that is the point of the story, one that will take the audience along for the ride. Sportsmaster came off as a bit one-note though, but again, he filled his role here and hopefully he will get more development if he stays a part of the cast.
What I'd like to see is how is Paul coping with all this though. We glossed over most of the recovery and rehab (which is fine, it can be dull) but what it did however was take the audience out of his struggle and prevent us from investing in him and rooting for him as our protagonist. You still have an opportunity to do that as he tries to salvage his family, but right now the character that is most "investment" worthy and that the audience can most easily root for is Morgan and she hasn't appeared on page yet. Kelly is a close second. Paul hasn't done or shown anything yet to get us to root for him, but if this is a story of his transformation and atonement, he is in a good starting place. A lot is going to depend on where you take the story from here.
-M
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Post by buck on May 9, 2015 13:53:23 GMT -5
Appreciate the reviews.
Hawksmoor:
I am glad you enjoyed the issue. I have to say this is the highest level of nervousness I've experienced waiting on reviews for an issue.
I could definitely see a case being made for the emotional outpouring being a little bit rushed. I will say as the series progresses you will see the reasoning behind her outburst.
mrp:
The formatting is definitely a problem with proboards I will try and be more watchful in future issues.
You pretty much nailed what I wanted you to on the characters. Paul is a character who I hope to make you root for by the time my story is over, but he is definitely hard to cheer for in the beginning. The entire series is about his atonement and growth as a person. Sportsmaster will continue to be a part of the cast and he has an interesting arc planned as well. But look forward to seeing what you think of future installments.
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Post by C_Miller on May 9, 2015 22:36:30 GMT -5
Really killer issue, Buck. It might be the best single issue I've ever read from you. You've always been more of a scope guy so I've always been fighting with you to go bigger. I'm so thrilled you fought back because it gave us this. I am concerned about talking it up too much, but I think our site has found it's Matt Fraction Hawkeye.
I really enjoyed your character work here. You're so plot based sometimes that you don't always fully allow the characters to breathe, but that isn't an issue here. Maybe we'll find that this quiet stuff is really your claim to fame. Although I do long for the days where you write a true blue epic again, I'm thankful that we get to explore this side to your writing.
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